What am I doing here?
I would ask myself time and again
Sitting by your bed
No god would Amen
Day after day, month after month
I would pray twice a day that your sorrow would end
you fought and you fought and would not ascend
I could not understand, till I would be your friend
Continue reading “My Struggle To Find A Brother I Didn’t Know I Had”
It’s time for people to stop being afraid of being stigmatized and start having a real conversation about mental illness. This article is the first step for me.
To say that the last year of my life has been the most challenging year ever would be a drastic understatement. There was 3 months where every single day I wanted to end my life. I constantly fantasized about suicide, I would have done anything to ease the pain. It started like most tragic stories start, with a girl.
Her name was Elise and I was madly in love with her. The courtship lasted a year and it was the most intense set of experiences I’ve had in my life. We were like two reactive chemicals, when we were together something unpredictable would always happen. The energy was insane in every way, and there was no boundaries, nothing was off-limits. Like most passionate romances, after a year it came to an equally spectacular ending. For a month after we separated I was elated, then I unwisely spent time with her again and the turmoil began. Half of me knew I could never have anything remotely functional with this woman, the other half was completely convinced that I could somehow make it work. I became a man at war with myself.
Continue reading “How Megadosing On Vitamin B3/Niacin Saved My Life”
I stood in a room
There was so much gloom
surrounded by strangers
and unspoken dangers
All the men and the women in this room were lost
For all the folks here some line had been crossed
‘Behavioral ward’ was what it was called
If you ended up here, you would be appalled
For I directed myself to the ‘psych ward’
with my brother whom I completely adored
To celebrate his 52ed trip around the sun
As my heart swelled with cheer a sweet song begun
I hit the call button and waited
With breath that was baited
Outside the psyche ward
For the brother I adored
The nurse finally came
But I was not quite the same
As I was the last time I was there
I was given quite a scare
By a girl with a different name
Seven years ago
A woman I used to know
Love cannot measure
How much I did treasure
This girl who changed my life so
Awaken Spirit 
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