My Journey To That Place I Most Fear

georgeI hit the call button and waited
With breath that was baited
Outside the psyche ward
For the brother I adored

The nurse finally came
But I was not quite the same
As I was the last time I was there
I was given quite a scare
By a girl with a different name

Seven years ago
A woman I used to know
Love cannot measure
How much I did treasure
This girl who changed my life so

Jocelyn was her name
And for years she kept me sane
We started a business together
Our love it would weather
Our life on the Gravy Train

The last time I was in this space
I was all over the place
I cried for hours unrelenting
There was so much lamenting
You stared at me with a straight face

You tried to take your own life
Causing those who loved you such strife
You could not connect
There was no self-respect
You would never choose to be my wife

On her second attempt she succeeded…

In taking her own life

————————————————————–

The cancer was eating away at his brain
Every day George started to act more insane
The Hospicare nurses did the best that they could
But the work they did was too good
In the end they just could not ease his pain

Two others died, at about the same time
And you thought it was a crime
That the nurses had drown their own patients
And were starting to run out of patience
Nothing could make you sublime

So you threatened the people who cared
Pushed them away, you were so scared
And they feared for their safety, in kind
Things had changed in your heart it was time
The decision came you were mentally impaired

You’re on death’s door, even though you are young
I’m afraid that your smoking didn’t help your poor lungs
The nurses have so much more life to live
They have so much more they can give
The decision to ask you to leave must have stung

The Hospital didn’t know what to do with you then
For your cancer almost killed you time and again
The psych ward didn’t have the facilities for you
But the 4th floor just could not come through
Your future was in the hands of other men

In the end it was decided you were a risk to yourself
Yourself just as well as everyone else
They put where your safety was ensured
The environment would have to just be endured
My biggest fear is that I belong there myself

Among the blankly starting empty faces
Devoid of love, joy and enduring embraces
I love you George even though I won’t visit every day
The pain that I feel in that place is too much to say
I hope that Great Spirit finds you in his good graces

In peace

In love

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