The Largest Person In Ithaca, NY Goes To The Country With The Smallest People Ever (SPE)

On January 29, 2013February 4, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Travel6 Comments

If I had to sum up my whole trip to China in 2004 with one word it would be WOW! China is unlike anyplace I have ever traveled in the world. Although for the entire time I was there I was totally uncomfortable, overcrowded, altitude sick, and off-center I still had a great time. Why do I travel? I travel to give my brain new experiences, to look at things in a different way. Like a rat running a different maze other than the one he is used to running it stimulates me in a different way and makes me feel alive.

The Greatest Wall ... Ever — The Greatest Wall … Ever

I flew into Hong Kong to start the trip off. For eight days I ended up getting stranded in Hong Kong while I waited to get my Chinese Visa. It turns out that the Hong Kong Visa does not work for China even though Hong Kong is supposed to be a part of China. This whole thing will continue to get more confusing as time went on. I wanted to fly to Tibet but the plane tickets from Hong Kong were obscenely expensive and I could not find anyone to get me a Visa into Tibet. Although Tibet is part of China you need a special permit to get there as well. It would not be until the end of my trip that I would secure a fake Visa to get into Tibet with, but that comes later.

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Watch As This Clueless American Tries To Learn To Kite In The Dominican Republic

On January 29, 2013February 4, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kiting, TravelLeave a comment

How many kids does it take to carry Kyle’s kite?

The following is an account of 12 days I spent in the DR in 2004 with Kyle where I was desperately trying to learn to kite.

What day is it, I can’t remember and I don’t care. One day blurs into another. Eat, sleep, kite that has become the routine. I can’t remember why I do the eating and sleeping anymore except that I can’t kite if I don’t do the other two. I feel like I’m in a movie, beautiful women everywhere, there is sun and sand and little local DR kids that grab your kite and walk it back up the beach for you for 50 pesos. I’m making these kids downright rich as I’ve been going up and down the beach 7 times a day for about the last 12 days.

Just how much abuse can a body take anyway? Every day I look in the mirror and see a handful of new bruises. It’s so exhausting learning Kiteboarding that all I’ve done for the last 3 days is eat, sleep and board and hardly anything else. It is so brutal that I am sleeping almost 12 hours a day and often have to lay down for a nap in the middle of the day. I feel like a lame old man (no offense mom, dad and President Bush all of which love their naps). I can get up on the board consistently now and can stay up for a pretty long time, my major problems in the past have been that I have been way under-powered. I am flying the 13.5 meter kite in about 20-25 knots of wind every day and that is about the right size kite for me. For Ithaca I’m going to need a 25 meter kite I think seeing as how most of the time the winds are low there (under 10mph).

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The Glitz And Glamour Of Europe Amid Aimless Wanderings Of A G6 Vagrant

On January 29, 2013February 2, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Travel1 Comment

In 2004 I traveled in 12 days from Amsterdam, Holland to Berlin, Germany to Munich, Germany to Budapest, Hungary to Vienna, Austria to Frankfort, Germany to Ottenberg, Germany to Freidburg, Germany then back to Amsterdam, Holland.

The red light district of Amsterdam reminded me of animals in a zoo. Some of the most beautiful and attractive specimens of humankind trapped behind glass dressed in almost nothing going about living their lives, reading magazines talking on cell phones or in some cases dancing. I felt strangely uncomfortable as I often do in the zoo. I had a freedom inside my heart that most of these women would never know. They have found an easier way, where money was never short and they could use their body to get money to buy themselves things so that they would feel better about their lonesomeness At least for a little while. In Amsterdam sex is a commodity to be bought and sold, not a special thing to be shared between 2 people who feel strongly about each other. It seemed cheap and commercial, it reminded me of fast food franchises like McDonald’s and Burger King. You pay the very little money and in return you get enough to barely sustain your hunger or sexual appetite. Sometimes it feels like everyone is waiting behind a pane of glass waiting to be discovered and loved.

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Costa Rica Delivers Flood-Stage Rivers, Kayaking Down Volcanoes And 40′ Waterfalls (oh my)

On January 29, 2013February 3, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, Travel9 Comments

When I first arrived I felt like I had died and gone to paddling heaven. Everywhere I looked huge landslides had removed parts of the road. The rivers were swollen and running that dark coffee brown color. Several bridges had recently collapsed, others were closed because the recent rains had moved the foundations. This is how my Costa Rican vacation began … 11 straight days of class IV-V rivers.

For the past week it had rained nonstop and things had been way too high to run. Finally there was some relief and the sun was starting to peak through. They had refused to let me take my kayak on the plane because of some silly trade embargo against Costa Rica for the holidays. Even worse than that my flight was delayed three hours so the car rental place was closed. They were nice enough to leave a note though, so that was cool. There was some Costa Rican sleeping behind the rental car counter, I asked him if he had my car, he told be to sleep in the next car rental booth over in Spanish. I followed a very attractive Australian woman I had met on the plane to a local hostel. Apparently she was going to Costa Rica to do conservation work with Sea turtles. Once at the hostel I tried to get a room with her which the woman at the counter found quite amusing. She put me in a room with some scuba diver from London who apparently also followed another attractive woman from the airport on sea turtle conservation work. Man what a racket, get all these attractive woman to do conservation work and lure unsuspecting Gringos into your hostel. Me and the limey stayed up late into the night talking then finally crashed out.

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The Most Frightening Whitewater Kayaking Experience In 8 Years Of Class V Boating

On January 28, 2013January 29, 2013 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, TravelLeave a comment

Prologue: I wrote this true story for Dennis Squires’ wilderness adventures book. Unfortudently Dennis died paddling in NZ several years ago so its unlikely this story will ever see print. I am posting it here instead.

First Decent of Augers Falls

You can see the tiny eddy in the crack of the rock at the top left. The water level was much higher when Mike made his first descent.
Ever have such a bad experience boating that you could hardly talk about it or write about it for years. An event that instilled so much fear in your being that it would fundamentally shift the way you kayaked forever? Mike Burns and I had an experience like this several years ago on the Middle Branch of the Sacandaga in Upstate NY.

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The Book Of Saint John’s Brook (RIP Dennis Squires My Personal Paddling Hero)

On January 28, 2013February 3, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, TravelLeave a comment

John’s Brook

Dennis Squires (RIP Bro), one of my paddling heroes and close friends.

Prolog: John’s Brook was first run solo by Dennis Squires (RIP bro) in the 90’s. Dennis had been telling me and Mike to hit it for a while and with the spring runoff we finally got a chance to hit this gem. This article was published in AW Magazine.

So there I was, the better part of the way down what was easily the most difficult creek I had ever paddled, standing on the shore waiting for Mike to walk down, after paddling a long section of class IV-V by myself trying to catch up with Mike’s lost paddle. My spray skirt had been badly ripped on a log which was stuck under an undercut rock and Mike’s skirt was also badly ripped. Luckily mine had ripped first so I had gotten dibs on the only safety-pin we had which was now holding together the tear and keeping my little creek boat from sinking like the Titanic in this heinous 350+ fpm creek known as John’s Brook. If John’s Brook had been a movie review it would have read like this:

John’s Brook is the newest in a long line of productions aimed at appealing to the segment of the kayaking community that have hit their heads on a few to many rocks. The first two hours is spent watching kayakers hike up 3 miles of steep rocky trails dragging 100 lbs of gear through the mud, over creeks and over huge boulders. You can tell from the gradient that once these guys hit the water, there will be hell to pay. While most runs gently ramp up for the viewer, once they get to the water Johns creek starts out full-bore and never slows down. The entire 5 miles is just one long climax with little or no interruption. Most people who enjoy this spectacle will be forced to switch over to auto-pilot or will end up running out of energy and adrenaline after the first 15 minutes. After the first couple of hours, you wonder when it will end, and whether or not the actors will just say “enough” and walk out of the canyon.

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The Best Dam Beaver I Ever Had

On January 28, 2013February 2, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, TravelLeave a comment

The following article was published many years ago in American Whitewater Magazine, a not for profit group I was involved with when I kayaked every weekend. The river written about is the Beaver river in upstate NY near Belfort and every year hundreds of boaters would gather from all over America to run this little gem.

So there I was running one of the more difficult class V runs to be found in NY backwards on a $50 bet. Thoughts of my sweet one year old son and his beautiful mother did NOT fill my mind. Survival was the focus here. How to pull off this stunt without getting flipped, swimming or worse. Marty probably didn’t think anyone would really take him up on his offer for $50 to run it backwards. The decision was already made before I started not to accept the money from him, so why was I doing it? Fame, fortune, glory? No, I was doing it because I wanted to prove to myself that I had put off running the Eagle section of the Beaver to a point in my paddling career where I could run it backwards. The crowds faded from my mind and all I could think about was, where is my boat, where am I pointed, am I ready to brace? Complete focus. The run was not pretty, but better than many other paddler’s forward facing runs.

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The Sickness

On January 28, 2013February 3, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, Lifestyle and HealthLeave a comment

I went to bed listening to the rain beat against the windows. The violent storm gave me a strange sense of peace, like it always does. I dreamt of paddling all night long. I awoke ready to skip work to hit the river, but there were several inches of snow and it was still snowing. I dejectedly went to work.

Walking to work I neared Cascadilla Creek, a little 500 fpm gem in the middle of Cornell. It sounded like a freight train as I approached. The sound was glorious to my ears. Entranced I found my way down the trail and before me was the most powerful display I had ever seen. Hundreds of cfs cascading off 30,40 and 50 foot waterfalls landing flat on hard rock. Even
at these levels the pools at the bottom did not fill in. I had a sinking feeling that running these falls without a landing zone would guarantee a great deal of pain. I ran back and forth like a squirrel trying to find the line. Then I realized it, I have the sickness. I threw my head back and laughed out loud. What separated me from all the mindless drones walking around above was that I wanted to live, to really live and experience everything. People without the sickness would almost certainly think that I was just trying to die, not live. I realized that it is not a sickness, but an obsession to suck the marrow out of life. I may never run Cascadilla gorge … but I do not want to get well either.

Later that day I saw my son clap his hands in a sonogram. It was one of the most moving moments of my life. It was so real. I rejoiced that my little son was happy and alive and growing in Marlo’s belly. I begged Marlo to run shuttle so I could run a little class II run up at Taughannock falls. There is a little 1/2 mile run with lots of surfing waves and holes
at higher levels. The park police came and gave me a real hard time. I think he wanted to punch me in the head. In his reality I was a crazy idiot who was out paddling in a blizzard risking his life and the lives of the people that were going to have to come and rescue me. In my reality I was just doing what I loved and being as cautious as possible. The lack of
understanding of the sport by the officer and his uncertainty and insecurity with what I was doing made him very angry. He could see that I had the sickness, to him I needed therapy.

What’s a paddler to do?

TV Crew Films 4 Crazy Americans Floundering Down The Class V Section Of Gatineau, Somehow We Survive … Barely

On January 28, 2013February 2, 2015 By Karl GessleinIn Kayaking, TravelLeave a comment

Mike running the ‘class V’ section, he’s the tiny dot in the middle of the picture.

Trip report of the Gatineau Festival 2001

This weekend to the Gatineau festival was by far the best paddling weekend all summer. I was skeptical about the 6 hr drive and the $45 Canadian entrance fee. After all was said and done I can safely say that it was well worth it. I have never met any culture that was as hospitable as the French-Canadians. The fed us, shuttled us, let us camp and gave us hot showers and kept up a nice fire that burned all night long. Never once was I made to feel as stupid as I felt for not being able to speak French. Being surrounded by the french speaking Canadians all the time was really weird, it was almost like being in another country. I guess Canada is another country.

We arrived Friday Evening and checked in, there was already over 100 people there. We milled about then crashed for the night after getting all the info we could on the river. They handed out these neat little maps in French and English that showed all the channels and in one little section had a nifty big X on it that said “don’t go here” with Class V rapids right next to them. Needless to say, we’d be running that channel the next day.

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