I was asked by my good friend Dr Pamela Moss to submit my vision board that I created under her supervision to a transformational art show. Two long years ago myself and a dozen other people spread out a bunch of old magazines on a table and after a deep soulful meditation we looked through them and ripped out any pictures that called to us. We then spent another hour cutting out the pictures and gluing them on a posterboard. That ‘vision board’ has hung in my kitchen and I’ve looked at it every day for the the last two years. I mounted color changing LED lights around it and I setup a LED spotlight above it so it could have the brightest light in the room. This simple collection of pictures pasted together from magazines that people threw in the trash has completely transformed my life.
Transformation is not a word I use lightly. Three years ago was the lowest point in my life by far. I had just removed myself from an incredibly unhealthy relationship and was struggling with recovering from Lyme disease. I started to lose my grip on reality and sunk into a very deep depression that seemed totally inescapable. Getting out of bed every day became a chore, I stopped working, got rid of most of my customers and focused entirely on my mental and physical health. By following a strict diet, exercise regime and schedule I managed to slowly work my way out of the depths of despair. The visionboard was created just as I was coming out of this struggle. In the center of my vision board I put a picture of the World Trade Center after 9/11. A burning wreckage of dust and ashes. This so closely resembled how I felt inside. I pasted the words “He makes the impossible possible”. This phase spoke to me in a way that I try to live my life, to life for what is possible not what is just probable.
Above that I put a picture of something under a scanning electron microscope in front of the universe. The most important thing for me is to never lose sight of the wonder and magic and improbability of life and our existence and not to take it for granted. Next to the molecule I put a hummingbird to remind myself to be sweet and colorful to attract others and celebrate the joy of being alive. Above the hummingbird I pasted a picture of a beautiful woman who in the magazine was hovering above the desert but now was falling down into me. I was determined to find this woman, and I felt that if I did the work she would fall into my life. Amazingly I did find that woman and I became committed to her 6 months ago in an amazing ceremony in the middle of Cayuga Lake with over 150 people there to witness our love. It was hard work finding her, I dated dozens of women that I went out of my way to meet, carefully evaluating our potential futures together. Once Thilde and I started spending time together it was quite clear that she was the one that I could share my life with.
There was a picture of a couple getting married, I woman laughing with the words “Female Reproductive System” behind her head. I wanted to be with someone who was happy and knew how to laugh at herself, sex, life and me. There were pictures of lots of beautiful places I wanted to see and lots of kiting to be done. In the top corner there was a picture of two children playing which signified my desire to have children again as well. In the bottom right is a picture of Ray Bradbury with a strange looking Trex toy on his desk. It reminded me of my desire to grow old gracefully never losing hold of my youth and to not be afraid to write from the heart.
I never thought that just 2 hours of my life could change things so much, but looking at this vision board every day it has changed me. It’s help me to remember what I really want out of life instead of just spending all my time doing what others expect for me to do. It created focus and direction for my life to manifest itself in the way that I wanted it to.
I never thought I could be this happy and fulfilled. I think it might be time for another vision board.